This is such a difficult write and I have been away from my blog for several weeks spending time with my family, and my beautiful Mother-in-law who passed away June 18.  She was my second Mom, I loved her dearly and I still struggle with the realism that she is no longer here physically.  I miss her…

The journey of life holds such beauty and pain, and it is in the experience of death, and being present during that last breathe of a loved one that truly brings into full light the appreciation of the gift of our life and how we spend every moment.  My Mom-in-law is in heaven now, able to breathe, walk, laugh and exist in the perfect form of her spirit in the presence of God and those who have passed before her that she so loved.  At the same time, I struggle with my human feelings of this “is all not real and weird.”  I expect to go over to my in-laws’ and see her, looking forward to one of our many girl talks.  I can still see her and hear her in my mind, and the sound of her laugh will remain forever in my memory. 

The loss of a parent hits very hard to the core of our being, and as I watch my adoring husband process his feelings of saying goodbye to his Mom, my heart aches for him.  We are a close knit, loving family who supports each other through the good and the bad times of life.  This is such a bitter sweet time for him and our entire family.  There are tears and so many stories, and through those we also laugh and capture the very essence of Mom still with us.  I understand that it comes down to time, and healing of one of the greatest losses in this life and it will never be about acceptance.  How can it be?  I would say it will be about change, and learning to live with the loss of such a special woman in our life … Wife, mother, grandmother, great-grandmother, sister, and daughter. 

I understand how one generation carries into the next, and going through this journey of losing my second Mom makes me think about my own mortality.  I am fifty now and even though my health is good, there is still no guarantee of life tomorrow.  Age and even illness are not always the deciding factor of death, which in this write I hope to bring home loud and clear that everyone please appreciate life, your body, family, friends, and all things that are cherished.  It will not be money that will carry you through emotionally difficult times, or even having the fittest body around.  I will say that being emotionally healthy is helping me go through this process and I am thankful my healthy state of well-being keeps me balanced through difficult times, and not running to numb up with medications.  We are made to go through the feelings of joy and sorrow and that is part of life, and we need to be healthy to experience both sides of our journey. 

One last Christmas Time together Dec 2013

My Beautiful Parents-In-Law, Rhoda and Dick Leal married 55 Years

I dedicate this Blog in loving memory of Rhoda Leal, my beautiful second Mom and friend.  I love you always and until we meet again, I will carry your laughter and wisdom in my heart and mind forever. 

One of our last beautiful moments together ... Jammie Party

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